Making the Rounds

Making the Rounds

Rrrrotate.  Chaaange partners.  Down one.  These are common words you hear in any group class you attend.  They are pretty self explanatory.  The instructor is asking you to change partners and try the exercises or moves again.

Most people look forward to it.  They get to try the movements with a variety of people in the class and work out the bugs before they try it on the dance floor that night.  And of course, there is the quick little bit of friendly social interaction as they say hello to everybody during the rounds.  It contributes to a lesson where everyone learns, progresses and has fun.

There is always one couple who doesn’t want to rotate so they only dance with each other.  The profile is always the same.  It’s a beginner class and they are new to partner dancing.  Occasionally I have had people in the higher level classes take the beginner series with their significant other (SO) who wants to learn but they don’t rotate.

They all tell me the same thing.  “We only want to dance with each other so we can go out and dance together.”  I’ve always thought that was such a lousy excuse.  Why?  Well, let me tell you.  You are both in the same dance class learning the same dance at the same time.  Same, same, same.  What do you think will happen?  I’ll teach one of you West Coast Swing and the other one Waltz?  Of course you will be able to dance together when you go out.  That’s why you are both in the same class.  But they don’t make that connection so they stay together.  The end result is always the same though.  What do you think that is?

Well, there is no sense dancing around the subject so let’s get right to it.  They won’t actually admit it, but most people don’t rotate out of either fear, shyness, jealousy, or possessiveness.  It’s mostly fear that gets in their way.  I won’t touch the other three here.  Those are separate issues which are a by-product of fear.  There are two other situations where people will not rotate but those are very specific and beyond the scope of this article.  This month I’m talking about the type of group classes most of you will find.  And then there are the myths. I’ll get to those in a minute.

Back to fear.  I get it.  You don’t want to look and feel stupid and with your SO right beside you there is that little sense of security.  You feel safe.  I get it.  You don’t want to look stupid.  Let me ask you this.  If a room full of people are all doing the twist and one person is doing the mashed potato who looks out of place?  If we are all doing the same goofy exercises and movements in the same dance, no-one is singled out looking stupid.  We are all doing the same thing in the same little room.

You don’t want people to watch you and judge you.  OK.  I get that too.  Let me ask you this.  If you are busy focusing on your own dancing, do you even have time to look at anyone else?  Do you even have time to sit back and judge them?  Since you don’t, guess what?  They don’t either.  They are too busy learning.  Just like you.  The only one there to watch you is the instructor.  That’s their job.  They watch your dancing to see what you can do to improve it.  They are not judging you.  They are only watching your dancing.

Now that we’ve covered fear let’s move on to myths.  People give me a lot of ‘reasons’ why they don’t want to rotate.  Aside from the one I mentioned above, the other one is that they will get better, faster by dancing with the same person.  Nope.  Not in a group class.

Everyone has a slightly different feel in their dancing.  In classes you learn what those differences are and how to lead or follow different people.  When you don’t rotate, you and your partner quickly learn how to adapt to each other’s weaknesses and compensate for them.  You get good.  But only at dancing with your regular partner.

Let’s say you get through the series of classes without running dangerously thin on patience and tolerance and getting into an argument or short with your partner.  It is possible, but highly unlikely.  Eventually you will want to join the fun and go to a dance.  It’s a pretty friendly community and you will see people from your class.  You will get asked for a dance.  When you dance with someone else you’ll soon feel like you can’t dance at all.  Why?  Because they don’t move or feel the same as your regular partner.  Your only reference point was your regular partner where your weakness were covered up for you.  Now you are lost because you can’t deal with a different dancer.

Remember all the people you thought were judging you?  Guess what.  Their skill level passed yours long ago.  Neither of you noticed.  Why? Because all of you were too busy focusing on your own dancing to worry about anyone else’s.  So, did you get better, faster by not rotating in class?  No.  You got in the way of your own progress.

One of two things happens next.  I’ve seen them both.  You’ll either quit out of frustration or you’ll sign up for another round and make better use of the time and people there.  If you are taking lessons with your SO you’ll get plenty of time to dance with each other.  Get involved in the rotation.  You will learn a lot more if you do.  You will also meet people you will see at the dances.  These are some of the people you will dance with.  If you can dance with them in class it will be easier to dance with them at the dances.  You’ll have a lot more fun too.